The Journal of hopeness

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:25:44 GMT

So I just got back from the shrink. It went ok. But before I get into all of that. I gotta tell this little story. So he was asking what I like and that, well I don’t do much because of the RA, I love watching Dog the bounty hunter, southland. SPN, and now on, hes wirting things down. So the next thing I hear is

“think dean will forgive sam?”

Am like…………… dude. My face must have shown that because he goes. Yes we watch tv too.

He was bummed ruby is gone.

I’m thinking yeah…. Ok. Just you buddy.

He’s a very nice guy, he made me feel like I was talking to a friend and not a doctor, which like that. I didn’t feel like he was watching every movie or looking into what I said like my other shrink did. It why I stopped going to her in the frist place. So, he have my these pills. Effexor, today every day, and when I feel a panic attack coming on. He have me lorazepam. And showed me how to calm my self too. Go into my room take the pill. Laydown and count too 100, and take deep slow breaths. He wanted to put my on Xanax, I told him no. I’ve heard to many scary stories about that stuff.

So I feel pretty good, after talking to him. I’ll go once a week for a bit, then hopefully just once a mouth or if I need to talk to him. So I guess we’ll. Now I’m just going to chill out for the rest of the day catch up on some reading. And see what everyone is up too.

and my brother says hi

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Thu, 28 May 2009 03:49:49 GMT

I can’t sleep for some reason. The last week or so hasn’t been easy for me. I feel lost, over whelmd everything is either making me mad or making so upset to a point where I just want to cry. I’m thinking about going back to my shrink. I can’t keep going to my friends, karen, jazz so on, its just not fair to them. So I think tomorrow I’ll call and see if I can get in this week. I shouldn’t have stopped going in the frist place I guess.

I just want tomorrow to go better. I want one day where I don’t feel like this.

Blah.

Isn’t Jackson Rathbone cute? Lol he so is. I wish he was in twilight more. But I guess we’ll be seening more of him in the other movies.

Also my cousin and his friend sent a video into the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon's dance challenge!

Check it out http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/clips/submitted-by-mjknarf/1110054/

So. I think I’ll go laydown now. And see if I can try and get a little bit of sleep, so I won’t be a huge bitch tomorrow for the people that have to deal with me.

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Sat, 23 May 2009 00:00:43 GMT

I was making my bed today. or well trying to. but ended up a bust with these two helping..

Lmfao

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Thu, 21 May 2009 01:50:58 GMT

Lets all say this mouthful

went to the doctors for my hands, and thats what he gave me.
Its for the swelling and stiffness of my hands. Lol its just a mouthful to say. I hope it works soon.

After the doctors, spent the rest of the day with dad. We went and picked out his new puppy. Hes getting a great dane. hes always wanted one. And since he had to move, and now has the room, and the yard the dog will need.

I wanted the one that looked like this.

But when we looked, he turned out to be a boy and he wanted to girl. So we picked the one that looks like this.

He’ll get her in about two more weeks the man said. And her name is daisy may . Any how am going to email ckll/jazz. Then hit the hay it was a long day…

Night people…

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Tue, 19 May 2009 01:59:38 GMT

aww my little cousin getting ready for her little band show at school

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Sat, 16 May 2009 01:20:17 GMT

people hit a new time low

Brooke Shields: Tabloid Checked My Mother Out of Nursing Home | Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields's mother, who suffers from dementia, was checked out of a New Jersey nursing home Thursday by a journalist seeking a "tabloid story," the outraged actress tells PEOPLE.

Teri Shields, 75, was later found unharmed at a restaurant next door to an assisted living center in Old Tappan, N.J., talking to a freelance reporter, according to police, who say no arrests have been made but the case remains under investigation.

"I intend to take every lawful action against all who were involved or who authorized this despicable act," Brooke Shields says in a statement to PEOPLE.

A Call from Police
The actress claims her mother was targeted by the National Enquirer.

"My mother Teri Shields has been diagnosed with dementia. For her safety, she has temporarily been in a senior living facility, a very difficult decision for me," she says. "Late Thursday afternoon, I was alerted by Old Tappan Police that my mother had been signed out of the facility by two reporters of the National Enquirer … who falsely claimed they were friends of hers."

She adds: "They then drove my 75-year-old mother around looking for a tabloid story. As anyone knows who has a parent who suffers from dementia or Alzheimer's, it is one of the most difficult experiences you can go through as a son or daughter. The idea that the National Enquirer took advantage of her state is reprehensible and disgusting."

A rep for the National Enquirer didn't immediately comment.

Investigation Continues
According to Old Tappan Police Department Capt. Thomas Shine, officers were called to the assisted living facility at 3 p.m. Thursday to look for Teri Shields. A supervisor at the facility said the elder Shields had been checked out.

"It was more along the lines that she had been allowed to leave, based upon their protocol or policy," Shine tells PEOPLE. "It had been an extended period of time" since she left.

"Our officer located her with some form of a journalist, I think a freelance journalist, in an eatery right next door," Shine continues. "She wasn't harmed in any way shape or form. She was fine. The officers discussed the circumstances with her. And she literally walked with one of my officers next door to the assisted living center."

Police Interviews
Shine did not identify the journalist or a media outlet.

The journalist was interviewed by police, as was a photographer who was working with the reporter but wasn't on the scene at the time officer arrived.

No charges have been filed, and the Shields family had not yet sought a criminal complaint, says Shine.

"The part we're investigating here is who allowed her to leave the facility," says Shine. "It appears that there were some permissions that were given for Mrs. Shields by the family, be they written, be they verbal - we're investigating - to allow her visitation for a variety of different reasons."

Shine says he believes the journalist "was familiar to Mrs. Shields" and that the journalist "did sign her out and was allowed to leave by personnel."

As for whether the elder Shields was driven around, Shine says, "We're still investigating that."

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20279378,00.html

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Thu, 14 May 2009 09:30:06 GMT

i can't sleep at all. in about two hours i will have up for 24 hours

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Thu, 14 May 2009 01:07:19 GMT

lol bam and ryan went on a bromance trip

( Bromance )

Tomorrow I have to be at the denest ugh I hate getting my teeth worked on! I think it’s the sound I hate the most. That damn drill and the needle in the mouth? Yeah not a fucking fan.

Misah has a twitter but the guy didn’t know how to use it at frist. It was soo funny too watch.

I guess I will update more tomorrow am guessing after SPN

Wich I don’t think we’ll get great ratings. Greys has a two hour thing tomorrow night too.

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Wed, 13 May 2009 14:40:29 GMT

i want a jealous jared fic! ugh.

getting ready for the docs. haven't been feeling good. so it might be time up the shots.

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Tue, 12 May 2009 00:38:15 GMT

this is the one i wanted to be a movie

Breaking Dawn, the fourth installment of the Twilight series has gone from "optioned property" to "script," which means that Melissa Rosenberg is one busy lady.

For weeks, we've been speculating about whether this portion of the story of our favorite Twilight characters (one which many Twilight fans to be of more than mild importance) will be brought to the big screen.
It appears that crossed fingers can relax, now, though. Instead of being listed as "optioned property" on IMDb Pro, Breaking Dawn is now in "script," and "[p]lanning to start in late spring 2010."

the rest here
www.examiner.com/x-4908-Twilight-Examiner~y2009m5d11-Breaking-Dawn-goes-from-optioned-property-to-scrip

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Mon, 11 May 2009 14:45:22 GMT

So the docotor that did my mom's stomach bypass we found out that he got kicked out of the place he works at, for killing someone, on the table. now the hospital was people who got the bypass done and who lived they want them to go come and get some test and other stuff done. because guess what, some are just as sick as my mom.

i keep forgetting about this Jouranl

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Mon, 11 May 2009 02:32:16 GMT

My dad called me back tonight, I kind of started to worry, I mean this man came back into my life after maybe 11 it could be ten. I really can’t remember, we got close again. When he sent me a letter I think it was two years ago. After the shock of getting it, then thinking about if I wanted to let him in again. I’m glad I did. Well cut to know, I haven’t heard from in a few weeks. So I started to wonder…

Well maybe it just wants nothing to do with me. I texted him. A few times, then tried to call today, I was cut off short and he said he call me back. Which I thought. Ok hes not going to. He did a little bit ago. And we talked, I just feel like an ass now for getting upset over it. So I’m thinking maybe I really don’t trust him as I thought it did

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Sun, 10 May 2009 20:30:40 GMT

help me pick a new cover!

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Thu, 07 May 2009 22:55:42 GMT

Yeah this is where I bitch. I’ve had a bad day with pain. I didn’t really leave my bed, my hands were the worst this morning, they we’re swelled so much, it took a morphine and a heating pad before I could move them.

I think am ok right now, I’ve got the heating pad on both knees, and trying to stay calm, and not go crying. I don’t I’ll stay up to much longer, I want to watch spn really bad. But the meds may pull me under,, oh well I got tivo! And lets hope that Dtv won’t mess up few weeks ago , I don’t know what happned but the whole network was down. And just a white screen was up, saying don’t call us, we know something is wrong and we’re working on it.

So much to do for this weekend. We’re having a lunch over here for mothers day. Because my grandmother doesn’t like to leave the house so much. I don’t know if we’re cooking out, or just going to buy take out. Guess we’ll see.

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Random and Rl i guess

Thu, 07 May 2009 00:53:43 GMT

I wish I didn’t watch oprah today. God I felt soo soo soo bad for those mother’s. I was talking to juls about it after. On now things are soo different from my time in school to now. I was bulled because of my weight almost everyday. I came home crying somedays. I cried in school a lot . But never did I think to kill or hurt myself because of those kids. Also, kids are being make fun of for being gay, and even if they are not. They’re being called so the pain they must have felt.

I just really don’t understand it. Maybe there was something else wrong with those kids. I don’t know.
Its just such a sad sad thing.

On to other things. My aunt works for KFC, she got a promoshin she is now into fild treaning, her bossed called her and said, because of oprah talking about the free chicken thing there doing. Some KFC where packed with people.

The power of oprah

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Wed, 06 May 2009 19:28:53 GMT

Test. the coding is a little harder over here.

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